Thursday, October 17, 2013

Reasons the Trailer Thinks You Want To See The Hobbit 2

  • Middle Earth
  • More Middle Earth
  • Hey, guys, look, it's Middle Earth!
  • Richard Armitage, did anyone really forget about Richard Armitage?
  • The barrel scene, everyone.
  • Like, a really intense barrel scene
  • This is not the barrel scene from your childhood
  • Oh yeah, and by the way LEGOLAS
  • Bet you didn't see that coming
  • AND not only is Legolas in this movie but he also has an ELF GIRLFRIEND
  • *who was not in the book*
  • An elf girlfriend who can fight.... really good.... hmmmm, where did I see that before?
  • Sauron is totally not the Necromancer, nope, not even a little bit
  • Gandalf with a sword
  • Freaky close-up of Lee Pace's elaborate and grey-tinged eyebrows
  • *sweeping dramatic eyebrow shot*'
  • Did we mention Lee Pace was in this movie and he has eyebrows?
  • That pale orc you either didn't care about or hated because he wasn't in the book
  • Giant spiders
  • Aramis from Three Musketeers is Bard for anyone who actually watched Three Musketeers  (or remembers Bard in the first place)
  • Wizard fighting
  • Legolas shooting things at really, really close range
  • Fighting in the barrels during the barrel scene. Bet you don't remember that part! *Fanboys shriek and scream and dissolve in incoherent puddles of rage*
  • And let's not forget about the amazing, spectacular, stunning CGI dragon....
  • PSYCH! It's actually just Benedict Cumberbatch wearing heavy makeup
  • IN 3D 
  • Also 2D for the peasants
  • BUT MOSTLY 3D!!!!
"Hey, wasn't, like, that Bilbo guy supposed to be the star of this movie or something?"


  1. I'm going to go see it, but I'm not really looking forward to it. I was immensely disappointed with part one and already see things I will hate in part two.
    This not Tolkien's Hobbit; it's Jackson's. And that wouldn't bother me so much if Jackson hadn't spent three years going on and on (and on and on) about how faithful he was being to the book.
    I guess he has a different definition of that which encompasses doing whatever the heck he wants to with the characters.

  2. Hahaha Oh my gosh this is the. Best. Movie trailer review EVER

  3. Eyebrows. I'm so going for the eyebrows. *Snicker snort* Just kidding.

    WHO COULD FORGET ABOUT BARD?!?!?!??!?! I LOVED him in the book. He came on and I went, "I don't know who you are, but I love you." And the more I read about him the more I loved him. (I really need to see The Three Muskeeteers.)

    Not looking forward to the elf girlfriend, OR the spiders...but the rest. Yes. The rest. (Aw, so you're not the only one who noticed that was Benedict Cumberbach in lots of makeup. I always knew he had dragon like features.)

    I feel so bad for peasants. 2D? Posh. One does not simply watch The Hobbit in 2D



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