What Happened to My Summer Plans

"Summer!" I said in my heart, and in the pride of my heart, at the beginning of the sixth month, the month of June. "Summer is a time of resting and relaxing, of wide-open schedules and blank calendars, of laying in the grass and sipping lemonade. Therefore I will take this summer, to use it as my own, and I will perform many great works this summer; I will finish the first draft of my novel, yea, even the one which I have for so long been working on, and I will write a certain amount of chapters for my other story, yea, even one a week, for the whole summer. And I will study 5 hours a day everyday, and I shall take eight CLEP tests this summer. For I, Lauren, have the whole summer ahead of me, empty, and I shall do with the time what I please."

So even as I spoke these words in my heart I congratulated myself on the marvelous accomplishments I would do this summer. And so the day of planning and the day of lofty goals was the first day of summer.

Then the first week came and I said in my heart "I will not start my plans today. Today is a day for packing, a day for planning ahead for next week's vacation. I will put off my goals until next week." So the first week came and, just as certainly, the first week went.

Then came the second week and I went on vacation; yea, even to the Oregon coast, to the mighty Pacific ocean. And I said in my heart "This is a week for relaxing, for rejoicing. It is not a week for working or for toiling. I will put off my goals until next week." So the second week came and, just as certainly, the second week went.

When the third week arrived I said in my heart "I am just back from vacation. I am tired. Surely if I put off my goals another week, I will be more rested." And as I said in my heart, so I did, and rested the third week. So it came and, just as certainly, it went.

In the fourth week a dreadful cold assailed me, so that my eyes watered and my nose was stuffed up. And a fever racked my bones, and a great headache, so that I could hardly stand. And as I lay upon my bed, I said to myself "by dose id do duffed ub, ad by headayg id do bad, I gadot work od by goals." So the fourth week came and, just as miserably, the fourth week went.

Then the fifth week came, and with it a sore throat, and even so a cough. And I studied a little for my CLEP test, even for Social Sciences & History, as I should have been doing. And I worked on editing this video, and celebrated Independence day, but not much else in the fifth week, the first week of July. So it came and, just as certainly, it went.

And the sixth week came, and I lifted up mine eyes and, behold, the summer was nearly halfway over. And I was astonished, and I was much troubled, and inquired within my heart, even within the depths of my heart, where my summer had gone. And I looked and found that I had been procrastinating this summer, and my schedule had not been empty, and I had much to do and many places to go. And I was troubled, and I said within my heart "where will I find time to accomplish my goals, the goals that I set at the beginning of summer, even six weeks ago?"

So I went to the library and requested a book; and the name of the book was Eat That Frog, and the book was written to help those who suffered, as I suffered, from poor time management skills. So I read the book, and I heeded the words of the author; and I compiled a more detailed list for my summer, yea, even for the remainder I had left.

But it happened that as I pursued my goals I neglected that which I had heretofore been faithful to; my blog. And I worked on my writing and my CLEPs, and my blog fell by the wayside.

Then this day I lifted up mine eyes and, behold, my blog was neglected, and I said in my heart "I will write a post; yea, even one that explains why I have neglected my blog."

And as I spoke in my heart, so I have done it, that you may know why I have been absent. I, Lauren, have written this post; this salutation with my own keyboard I write. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen. (*)

How are your summer plans going?

I Understood That Reference: Avengers, Humor & Nerdiness

Nick Fury: ...his own personal flying monkeys.

Thor: Monkeys? I do not understand

Captain America: I understand! (looks around, grinning) I understood that reference.

One aspect of The Avengers that made it really stand out was the humor. Of course, with Joss Whedon directing it, how could it not be funny?

It was a movie that didn't take itself seriously. Unlike the dark, gritty Nolan Batman films, most Marvel films are bright and funny, sort of lighthearted and colorful, like comic books. Not that either is better, just that it's one of the differences between the Marvel and DC movie universes.

Another great thing about the movie is that there weren't that many inside jokes - the kind of jokes that only comic book fans/nerds would get. There was only one obvious one that I can think of. This made it appealing to both fans and to moviegoers who aren't "comic-book-people."

Just a reminder, this is not, strictly speaking, a "review." It is riddled with spoilers, so don't read if you're trying to decide whether or not to watch it. My recommendation is: go ahead, watch it! You will most likely not be disappointed. And then you can come back and read this review.

You have been warned. On we go, after the jump...

T is for Tortured Artists

Drawing by Ava. Used with permission.

So I'm writing this blog post in between taking a long, lonely walk in the haunted woods and sitting in a dark room, hunched over a typewriter, weeping over the heartbreaking poetry that I'm writing.

No, I'm not depressed. I'm trying to cultivate my inner tortured artist.

You can too! Here are 5 easy steps to becoming that famous depiction of the mad genius.

1. Doubt yourself.

If you like what you create, you can't be a tortured artist. You must always, always doubt your work, never ever be satisfied with it, and go into fits when anyone praises your work.

2. Learn to play the violin. 

Come on, we all know this one. Sherlock Holmes.

And besides, can you think of an instrument that is more dramatic than a violin? You can also substitute an organ or an out-of-tune piano if you have to. Just make sure to rock back and forth violently when you play it.

3. Make friends with some strange animal - rats are excellent, birds are okay (especially if they're crows or ravens).

The best way to reinforce the idea that you are not of this world, and don't understand ordinary human beings is to make friends with normally spurned creatures.

(This will also give you extra pity points.)

4. Develop a signature messy hair style.

Tortured artists have no time to take care of their hair! They're plagued by visions and dreams and ideas that must be put down on paper or canvas or sheet music! All the same, make sure to choose your trademark messy hair carefully. Einstein looks like he put his finger in a light socket. Make sure yours is as fitting.

5. Die young.

Because only the good do...

Also by Ava. Used with permission.

Follow these five steps carefully, and you're well on your way to becoming the mad genius of legend.

Are you a tortured artist? Do you have any tips to add to the list?

Let me know by commenting!

Random Updates

I have a couple random bits of news that are too small for individual posts.

Visual Aid ;)

• I finished reading The Hunger Games, which was really good. I stayed up way too late reading it (till 2:30, I think). It was an eBook, so I could read it on my iPhone without having the light on. I was going to write a review on Thursday, but I didn't have time. Expect a review soon, though.
• I came across this article the other day (on the CollegePlus website, I think) on how to handle awkward situations. It was both funny (the tips were given by an ex-con man!) and practical (very applicable to real-life situations).  
• Just watched both seasons of Downton Abbey. Maybe I could do a review on it. I haven't done any movie (or in this case, TV series) reviews yet. 
• Speaking of movie and TV reviews, I've started following this excellent movie review blog.
• I've joined the A-to-Z challenge. It should be fun. I haven't planned any of my posts yet, but I have some ideas.

So I'm Reading Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief...

...because I thought I should read it, since it is (or was) so popular. Gotta keep an eye on the competition, right?

I have to admit, I'm a little prejudiced against it because it sounds like a Harry Potter knock-off. Plus, I've already seen the movie (which wasn't very memorable).

But in the first few pages I came across this passage. Percy Jackson is the narrator:

Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school -- the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere. 

"Detention?" Grover asked. 

"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner [the history teacher]. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean -- I'm not a genius." 

Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?" 

I was totally not expecting that. In fact, I was waiting for the deep philosophical comment too.

It's nice to be surprised like that.

Read my review here.

So I'm Reading This Book...

...called Characters in Action by Marsh Cassady. It's mostly about plays and stage, so some parts are a little irrelevant (to me, at least). But the author occasionally does this hilarious thing where instead of explaining something himself he'll write a dialogue section where the characters explain it for him. Here's an excerpt (don't you just love the word "excerpt"?) on collaboration:

The vision you have as a playwright will differ from what is produced on the stage. This is because once you finish the script, it is no longer completely yours. You are only one collaborator among many.

 

Playwright: Hey, you call this collaboration. Well, I don't think so, you know. I mean this isn't how I saw things at all. This isn't what I wanted.

Director: What you wanted! What's that got to do with anything? It's my baby now, and what I say goes.

Then later, after the playwright and the director squabble with the set designer, lighting designer, and costume designer...